A Secret To Tell

I've been thinking lately,

Of my feelings for you.

Wanting to tell you badly,

And finally let you knew.

A secret I've been keeping,

A smile I've been stealing,

A look I've been pondering,

A love I've been nurturing.

Oh but why can't you see,

All the things I tried to be.

To heal and change your mind,

For you to finally be mine.

I spend with you my time,

And tried our rhythm to rhyme.

I've also been down my knees,

Uttering prayers and pleas.

But indeed you're a hardcore,

Cause by pain you had before.

Spells and magic are no use,

Cause your heart keeps to refuse.

I wonder are you worth it,

A mistake I shall repeat.

Cause you make me happy then,

But gave me a bitter end.

Perhaps they are right,

You're not the one for me.

So after this lonely night,

I'll go and set myself free

If You Break a Writer’s Heart


"You'll never know how something tragic could turn into something beyond beautiful."

If you break a writer's heart,
consider yourself lucky.
They'll write a hundred thousand words
to express you in their poetry.
If you crush their once bright hearts,
Look closer, you will see.
The world will read, their words would bleed
For that tragic memory.

If you break a writer's heart,
their works will be a melody
of their aching heart you tore apart;
Their wounds sing perfect harmony.
If you bring disaster in their worlds,
It'll storm in every sea
their skies would cry and will soon be dry
when their thoughts would be set free.

If you break a writer's heart,
a masterpiece, there will be.
Their crafted lines and painful rhymes
are beautiful effortlessly.
If you devastate and make them bleed,
You'll lose their art slowly.
With their thoughts set free, another love they'll see.
You're out of their story.

If you broke a writer's heart,
You can't boast of it, sorry.
You may once owned their heart but never their art.
You're the chaos, not the treasure-filled sea.

Now. If you broke a writer's heart,
consider yourself unlucky.
In their lines and words and past stories,
There, you would be buried.

Let Me Out

Alone in this darkness,
Waiting for someone to take me away
From this place only I could witness
Hoping to leave as I pray.

It is like a never ending nightmare,
I always wanted to see that light
So I can be relieved from this despair
I will do anything with my might.

So please let me out!
Take me to a place full of light,
I want to escape from this place made of sin and doubt
This is a place you never want in your sight

I will do anything to get out,
To leave this dark place
Even if no one can hear me shout
As I struggle to get out of this maze.

Touch of Death

I’ve never felt such sensation,
a feeling that lingers deep in my skin
that urges me to cut in deep without any caution
is it a solution for me to escape from their sins?

It felt like staring at dazzling colors of black and white
but it feels like seeing a glimpse of a fading light.
That feeling starts to rupture in my heart,
as my humanity begins to crumble and fall apart.

Since Death touched me, I forgot how to feel pain,
It left me with grief and a blood stain
It felt like I dropped into darkness
An empty feeling that left me breathless.

How does it feel not to exist?
A question that goes deep in my head
A thought that is hidden deep in a mist
Am I going to feel it if I’m dead? 

It feels like Death is my only friend
he’s there waiting for me, waiting for my descend.
In this life of mine, hoping I will be relieved
from the lies of other people that I believed. 

Gray

Nothing is magical about falling in love

Your heart pounds for that one person, and like an idiot you’ll lose everything you have

You’ll look at him with loving eyes but will he look at you the same way?

With one smile your walls instantly came crashing down

But with one mistake it’ll take more than time to repair the damage that has been done

Jokes on you

Mad as the hatter they say Dumb founded as they try to seek within

Thoughts jumbled up, limitless confusion plastered on faces

‘Read between the lines’ the clue I’ve left but why can’t anyone deduce the mystery behind the facade of my entirety?

Lots worship reality but I’d prefer to live on my own world of fantasies

Broken

You weren’t perfect

Every shattered piece of yours were tainted with sadness and grief

Maybe that’s why you shut everyone out of your life

You didn’t want anyone to add another wound

And you didn’t want to stitch the wound by yourself again

You didn’t want to suffer from the same process

So you built walls not even me, who loves you, can destruct

Numb

That’s the problem about pain
It pushes you through your limits

And the only way to numb the pain is to be insane

And like a pill, it’ll shut you down from anything ordinary, you won’t give a damn about anything typical

All you would ever care about is madness

Crashed

I thought it ended

Years have passed and I thought my feelings are completely mended

It took me years to move on, a hard process of ignoring your existence

But as I accidentally gazed in your eyes, seconds longer than I imagined

I once again unconsciously admired your thick eyebrows that fit symmetrically with your pair of dark misty eyes

You changed, became hotter than before, became more powerful

I felt confused

I felt like a treasure chest waiting to be unlocked

Unlocked to see what questions were dying to be asked

Unlocked to pinpoint which emotion felt deepest

How was it possible for you to make me desire you again, with just mere seconds?

And with those mere seconds a million things were left unsaid

I was the first one to look away, I couldn’t take the intensity you gave

It was filled with heartfelt emotions, anguish, and a hint of need

You lingered on my presence for a few moments but then you let out a sigh and left

I want to know what I did to make you sigh

If that mild breathe was an impulse on your thoughts

What were you thinking?

Were you thinking about not having an official break up?

I shook my head. No.

I got back to my senses, I was slapped by reality with an unfortunate question

That was it

It meant nothing

Because not having closure is the closure itself.

Falling

Flashback from years before

It was forbidden at an early stage

Yet I risked it just for you

A screen that bonded us

A reality that did not

Small talk, longing stares and nervous touch was all we did

But somehow, for the both of us, it was our deep connection

I genuinely wanted it, wanted you, but I felt that I was losing myself

I wanted freedom

I wanted emotions

I wanted you for myself, and for myself only

It was lacking, I loved you but I was not loving myself

4 months after, on the month of romance

You decided to hurt me

Physically, socially and emotionally

Stupid as it sounds, but you did

You fucking did

I started hating you, even the sight of your shadow made me cringe in disgust

Even your sorry made me fuming mad

I believed in revenge and revenge was what I did

We eventually stopped talking

I broke it off when tears streamed down my face for the first time because of you

That was our closure, my tears signaled it to end.